Life has been rather quiet here this festive season with rains of tears storming this tropical region almost daily, especially on one specific spot - my then new but now sad home. Ever since Jeremy's departure, I had to brave myself to stay strong as my promise to him when I sent him off in his last journey. From the outlook, I may look happy as usual but for those who knew how close I was with Jeremy, could sense my inner sadness, especially the J Family Kitties who had been jamming in my bed without fail nightly. They were indeed right as inside my heart and soul, I'm just a weakling... longing to cuddle and play with him forever. It took me quite some time to gather up my courage to compile his photos from the past 3 years to make this simple video.
Each time I had finished checking an album, I eventually fell back to his last photo on the frozen ground on that wicked afternoon, dripping tears furiously but silently. Psychologically, I needed the strength to pull through but only time will heal my sadness. I really need the peace of mind right now to get my life back to normal even without him around to put a smile on my face as always. I guessed this painstaking and tearful video I had produced would be the sole memory of him for me to cherish forever. Peacefulness... calmness... are what I can hope for... and that's what I have been doing by watching those memories ten of times each day...
Each time I had finished checking an album, I eventually fell back to his last photo on the frozen ground on that wicked afternoon, dripping tears furiously but silently. Psychologically, I needed the strength to pull through but only time will heal my sadness. I really need the peace of mind right now to get my life back to normal even without him around to put a smile on my face as always. I guessed this painstaking and tearful video I had produced would be the sole memory of him for me to cherish forever. Peacefulness... calmness... are what I can hope for... and that's what I have been doing by watching those memories ten of times each day...
Note: You might want to let it load fully before playing for the best effect. In case of failure to load well, try visiting: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N76pO4zRv3I
16 comments:
i watched this beautiful clip at the very wrong timing, as i weep in a hotel lobby.... My heart feels for your pain and your lost..... The day i met up with Jeremy, you & the J Kitties, was the day i lost my Chubby Chub. Remembering when i entered your old house and saw Jeremy, i couldn't help but gasped. He resembles my late Chubs, in many many ways. It was through him that i felt the presence of my Chubs..... Since then, i fell in love with him instantly..... It was Jeremy that i always looked out for when i visited you..... Don't get me wrong, i love the rest of your kids, it's just that each time i see Jeremy, it is as if seeing my Chubs still alive and kicking..... Now, with his sudden departure, it's like losing 2 cats at 1..... I am so sorry for your lost, yes, time will heal.... It might not be instantly, but it will..... stay strong for the rest of your kids.... I shall visit you again when i am back. Take good care Criz
What a handsome boy he was. A very nice memorial video, Criz. It's so sad he was with you only a short 3 years, but he knew he was loved. Purrs and tail wags.
Purrs and headbutts from alla us kitties
Molly
Shadow
Trooder
Mooch
Criz, what a beautiful tribute to your beloved Jeremy. He was such a handsome boy. We hope each day gets easier for you to cope and wish you many sweet memories of Jeremy. Purrs and comforting thoughts still coming your way.
'Kaika and mom Trudy
What a wonderful tribute to Jeremy! You have many wonderful memories to help you through your heartache. We grieve with you.
Willow and I were so sad to find out about poor Jeremy this morning. We are sending over soft purrs to all of you. That is a wonderful tribute for Jeremy.
Purrrrrrrrrrrs, China Cat
What a beautiful tribute to your sweet Jeremy. (((HUGS)))
We watched the video in memory of Jeremy. We are so sorry to hear he has gone. We hope that time will heal your sorrow and hope it helps you to know that you are in our thoughts.
Mindy, Moe, BonBon, Cookie, Mike & Nina
When my beloved Magoo left us, I was reminded of this little story I wrote. Who knows we might have been drinking from the Pool at the same time...
Of Memory and Loss
Before I went to sleep, I decided that the next morning I would go and get a pet. I was not sure if it would be a dog or cat or bird or something else. All I knew was that I needed, no, wanted to share my life with another creature that would accept my friendship and affection.
As I slept, I fell into a deep dream.
There before me sat the most beautiful creature, neither male nor female. To either side of this wonderous creature, there were two indentical waterfalls with deep clear pools at their base. From each waterfall, the most crystal blue water cascaded down. I was entranced. Never before had I seen seen such beauty, such serentity.
Wordlessly, the creature motioned for me to come towards the pools at the base of the waterfalls. I noticed that at each pool, there was a small silver cup attached to a fine silver chain.
"Dip thy finger into the pool and taste." the creature said as it gestured to the pool to its left.
I did as instructed. As the clear cool liquid touched my tongue, my stomach clenched with pain and my heart pounded fiercely within my chest. A hollowness rang throughout my being that I feared I would never recover from.
"This is the Pool of Loss." the creature said and then it motioned to the other pool of water. "Dip thy finger into the pool and taste."
Warily, I drew my forefinger through the water of the other pool of water. As my finger touched my tongue, a joy so deep and pure touched my soul. A wave of happiness and wonder drowned the pangs of sorrow and loss the first pool had caused.
"This is the Pool of Memory." the creature said. "If you take one of God's creatures into your heart, you must be prepared to drink from both pools. Do you accept this as your covenant, your bond with one of God's creatures?"
Silently I nodded yes.
"Then drink from each pool." The creature instructed as it motioned towards the silver cups at the sides of the pools."For now they will bear no taste, but in time you will discover how much you have partaken of each."
The very next day, I went and found a kitten at a local pound. It was the smallest one of the litter and it was the one who seemed to need me the most.
I watched it grow and play and I revelled in the smallest joy it brought to me. But then without warning, it was taken from me in a way most sudden and cruel.
Once again I felt the pangs I had felt in my dream when I tasted the waters of the Pool of Loss. Only this time, I thought the pain would never leave. Then, I remembered the taste of the waters from the Pool of Memory. Slowly the pain of Loss began to subside, and was replaced with the joy of Memory.
Now I realized that I had drank more from the Pool of Loss than the Pool of Memory in my dream. But now I knew that the Pool of Memory brought more than enough comfort to offset the pain the Pool of Loss could cause.
I now bear the knowledge that each time I open my heart to one of God's creatures, I drink from the Pool of Memory and the Pool of Loss. How much I partake depends on each creature and that, in the end, the power of Memory is so much more powerful than the power of Loss.
A marvelous tribute. Jeremy was a gorgeous kittie who left us all much too soon.
Sending comforting purrrrrss and gentle headbuttss to Criz and all the J-kitties.
You made a wonderful tribute to Jeremy. I know that now it seems that the pain will never end, but it will slowly lessen. You are right that you need time. Take comfort from all your other fur babies that cuddle you each night.
Lovely tribute to a beloved family member. I am so very sorry for your loss. You are such a wonderful person, Criz!
Very beautiful and touching...brings back memories of my own cat who went to kitty heaven 6 years ago. I still miss her dearly...
Take care,
Shueh Leigh
This is a lovely tribute to Jeremy We are are purring softly for you.
Oh Criz, your post and the video brought tears to my eyes. With time you will feel better. Take comfort in your other babies and love on them extra. The boys are purring for you and I am praying for you.
Meowm Rhonda
And we dared to think WE could write...
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