FAREWELL MAMA JESSICA

It started in early January 2007 when two cute kittens followed me and my God-Brother home from work. Eventually we adopted both of them, our first formal adoption though we had befriended many other strays along the way. Somehow, these cuties had melted our hearts with their little actions. Papa Jonathan had gone missing during one of his romancing nights while Mama Jessica had been closely tied to me ever since. That's 3394 days (9 years 3 months and 14 days) of great memories to cherish. With an appetite of 8 meals a day and still asking to be fed more, Mama Jessica suddenly went fragile and frail during the last 2 months without consuming anything at all. She had to be syringe fed 3-4 times a day with a dozen syringes of liquid food, fluids and boosters to build up her energy. It helped initially but went from bad to worst after a few weeks. Her muscles deteriorated until she was left with flesh and bones on her hind legs. Her wounds won't heal and she had to be manually cleaned many times to avoid her urine's acidity to further burned off more parts of her skins. She barely could move... She barely could greet me upstairs each morning as always... BUT she still tried her best to do so... It made me in tears seeing how loyal and true she had been with me all these years.  

I was already expecting this day but I did not give up hope to get her back to her usual health. The blood test came back negative on kidney failure but with mild trace of FeLV (Feline Leukemia Virus which she would have been infected by her parents by birth) and barely noticeable liver infection. She was practically in the "safe zone". However, with weakened immune system through age and a former victim to FLUTD (Feline Lower Urinary Tract Disease), her body could not cope with the "wear and tear" stresses anymore. I've tried to make her remaining days more comfortable by spending more time with her whenever I could... even up to the wee hours of the day just by sleeping next to her and "chatting" with her on our good old times. It may sound weird but I could sense that she knew everything I said by the sign on her tapping tail. 

Everything was still fine when I was syringe feeding her until my God-Brother came back from work and greeted her. She looked at him and me, then decided to call it quit. Her heart beats stopped on 5 July 2016 at 6.30pm. No matter how we tried to resuscitate her, there were no more signs of movements. She stayed lifeless. We had done our best to keep her alive and now she's in the hands of God. May her soul rest in peace... Farewell Mama Jessica... We shall miss you a lot...

 

Tribute To Mama Jessica: 

You came into my life when I was lost in my life journey... 
You showered me endlessly with your 2 generations of furry cuties... 
Now that you have gone over the rainbow bridge... 
My heart feels so empty without your companionship... 

You are no longer there to greet me each morning with your true love and affection... 
You are no longer there to make me smile when I was down... 
You are no longer there to make me laugh with your cute and clumsy actions... 
You are no longer there to allow me to love you even more... 
Life will be quiet now without your presence... 

You are far more than just a pet to me... 
You are part of my loving family... 
You are the light of my life... 
You are what made me who I'm today... 
A person who's filled with love and compassion for other living beings... 

I'll cherish all the precious time we had together... 
You are such a loving soul that I'll always cherish in my memories...
Goodbye Mama Jessica... 
May your soul rest in peace... 
We shall meet again soon...

 

GOODBYE JASPER

I always have the phobia when December is nearing. It's always the worst month in my life having the cruel blow of losing so many cats. Firstly, it was Jordan, who was having a long bout of epilepsy cases, missing and was never found since earlier this month. Now it's Jasper's turn to be in the hands of God~ We were still enjoying our roasted chicken on Christmas Eve and today he's gone... just like that. No signs of illness... He just fell weak and tired this morning and by 3.30pm... He left us in tears and sorrow... It's another sad day in December 2014 for everyone here including the J Family Kitties.. MAY HIS SOUL REST IN PEACE.. We'll meet again at the Rainbow Bridge... Goodbye Jasper L... my beloved "Pikachu"~ 

A Tribute To My Best Friend & Family - Jasper L.

I remember how you sunbathe on that specific spot...
That's where you always lie down and gave me that handsome little smile...
Now it's all so quiet with you no more...
No more echo from your voice along the road...
No more of you running towards me each time I came back home...
It's now filled with emptiness out there and inside my heart...
Though you were with me for not too long...
I'll always treasure those great memories...
Goodbye my friend... my great companion...
Til we meet above again...

MY CHRISTMAS BOY IS GONE

When tomorrow starts without me,
And I'm not there to see;
The sun will rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me.
I wish so much you wouldn't cry
The way you did today,
Remembering how I'd lay my head
In your lap that special way.
I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too.

But when tomorrow starts without me.
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name
And petted me with her hand.
She said my place was ready,
In Heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind
All those I dearly love.

But, as I turned to heel away,
A tear fell from my eye,
For all my life I never thought
That I would have to die.
I had so much to live for,
So many purrs and bums to do,
It seemed almost impossible,
That I was leaving you.

I thought about our lives together,
I know you must be sad,
I thought of all the love we shared,
And all the fun we had.
But life is uncertain,
And death is unavoidable.
Stay strong Dad,
I'll be in your memory forever.

I had stayed all night long hoping that I can give him some comfort while waiting for the best possible chance to get him to the vet but he just could not wait. He left under my watchful eyes at 9.00am sharp by giving me the last blink, "Daddy... I love you..."

Note: It's a nightmare that I lost two December boys within 6 months... it hurts badly~

THE LIFE OF JEREMY - MY GOLDEN BOY

Life has been rather quiet here this festive season with rains of tears storming this tropical region almost daily, especially on one specific spot - my then new but now sad home. Ever since Jeremy's departure, I had to brave myself to stay strong as my promise to him when I sent him off in his last journey. From the outlook, I may look happy as usual but for those who knew how close I was with Jeremy, could sense my inner sadness, especially the J Family Kitties who had been jamming in my bed without fail nightly. They were indeed right as inside my heart and soul, I'm just a weakling... longing to cuddle and play with him forever. It took me quite some time to gather up my courage to compile his photos from the past 3 years to make this simple video.

Each time I had finished checking an album, I eventually fell back to his last photo on the frozen ground on that wicked afternoon, dripping tears furiously but silently. Psychologically, I needed the strength to pull through but only time will heal my sadness. I really need the peace of mind right now to get my life back to normal even without him around to put a smile on my face as always. I guessed this painstaking and tearful video I had produced would be the sole memory of him for me to cherish forever. Peacefulness... calmness... are what I can hope for... and that's what I have been doing by watching those memories ten of times each day...

Note: You might want to let it load fully before playing for the best effect. In case of failure to load well, try visiting: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N76pO4zRv3I

THE DAY HE LEFT WITH TEARS

I would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone for the wishes and comfort during these sad moments. Jeremy was the love of my life… my son… the “man” behind my blog. Without him around, my life had gone crashing down. It happened so quickly and I was totally helpless to help him pull through. Subconsciously, I still filled up his bowl daily… That showed how much I had missed him and not wanting to think that he had left me for good. I’ve no reasons why I’m still so reluctant to put away his food bowl, although the rest of the J Family Kitties enjoyed the extras. Maybe that would be the best way to overlook on that part for some time.

Trudy ('Kaika, Tanith, Midnight, Stella, Blackie and Miss Kitty’s mum) was kind enough to warn me through ML on the possibility of some warfarin (rat poison) presence here, just in case the rest of the kitties had gone wandering around biting on any poisoned rats. Thank you for your concern, Trudy. I appreciate it a lot. From my knowledge, no one I knew was using such toxic substance here. Moreover, Jeremy would rather go dating at Monty’s house than to waste his energy chasing rodents and the rest of the kitties are rather homely. If only Jeremy knew Monty was spayed. Monty indeed loved his presence over the rest of the kitties.

I was really in stormy anger when I went over to my vets for a post mortem of the incident. They were supposed to detect any health problems on my babies but they failed to do so for Jeremy. The act of moving to a new place about a month ago and just 15 minutes’ drive to the vet did not save Jeremy’s life. Only cat fight wounds from a recent brawl with the mafia cat here were treated instead of checking further the cause of him losing some hair at his back. It was only concluded that it could be due to CRF (Chronic Renal Failure) he has been suffering from for awhile, in which none of us were aware of and with no symptoms at all. The illness suddenly took a bad turn into ARF (Acute Renal Failure) during the last two days of his life, as pointed out by Trudy.

I guessed I have to stay strong now and share my bad experiences here so that the rest of you out there would be knowledgeable enough to spot the hidden symptoms to avoid the same life threatening scenarios as in Jeremy’s case. On the other hand, I’ll need to shift my mind not to wander off wildly again as I have been during the past few days. Here are some comparisons as I found from vetinfo.com which I would be using to show on Jeremy’s recent behaviors:

Common symptoms of CFC include:

* Excessive urination and thirst – Normal healthy stools but peed quite often in small puddles.
* Loss of appetite – No signs of this. He was hungry always.
* Fatigue – He had his usual sleeping time. Nothing suspicious found here.
* Weight loss – A bit and I thought it was due to the relocation stress.
* Vomiting – Not that I have known of except for some fur balls throw up.
* Bad breath – None as he’s the cleanest cat in the household.
* Drooling – Not as regular as before I had moved here but extremely during his last 2 days.
* Dehydration – He did drink a lot though from running to and fro Monty’s house.
* A Dull Coat – The normal change of hair seasonally but it could meant he was not well too.

Key signs of ARF include:

* Lack of Coordination – He was still moving around here and there with no such signs.
* Refusal to eat – He ate a lot in the morning but not at night in that fearful state.
* Pain and straining during urination – Not that I was aware of.
* Vomiting – None at all.
* Weakness – A bit which I assumed was from a mild cold from the recent wet weather.
* Disorientation – The night before his missing as he was in “Sphynx” position and not lying down, shaky and in fear, which I assumed was the threat from the mafia cat. It’s a crashing sign for immediate medical attention!
* Bad breath – Not at all.
* Seizures – None at all except during the posture he was in when I found his body :(

Other findings from my personal observation on Jeremy:

* Fur Loss – Only after moving here which I assumed they were from some cat fights.
* Pee Color – Deep yellow and extremely smelly than norm.
* Hide & Seek – During the last few days, Jeremy has been digging and hiding in dark areas in my house. I thought it was the nature of cats to do so... mischievously.
* Constant Seeking Out – I thought he wanted to snuggle with me more without realizing that he was not so well and would like to be as close to me as possible. I should have known that he wanted to tell me that he was sick and wanted my immediate attention and action.
* Unusual Purrs – It could be an indication that he was in discomfort instead of content. If only I could understand cat language to hear him out. :(
* Blood Stain Mucus-like Substance – It could be due to some internal bleeding which my vets and I could not determine the cause of it. If only he stayed and did not run away, he could have been saved. :(
* Unusual Cries – Do not ever ignore such cries from other cats. It could mean that they are seeking help for someone they love. If only Monty could show me where Jeremy has been hiding, I could have had rushed him for emergency treatments.

I’m still in a sad and broken down stage now but I have to brave myself to write this post. It’s not so easy as to write on something you have lost recently without drowning in sorrow. Jeremy would be grateful for what I had written here to share with others. At least, another life would be saved for speedy actions. The picture of his cold body still haunted me nightly. The thought of his last moments on his face and the tears in his sparkling eyes left a deep wound in my heart. For 3 full years, I have been treating Jeremy as if he was my own son but he just left me without allowing me to be by his side during the last moment. Who would have expected that his birthday would become his death day?

The J Family Kitties have been real supportive these few nights by cuddling around me at all times. They somehow could sense my sadness. I hope I can pull through this sudden trauma very soon… it has been the saddest moment in my life…

I WISHED I COULD WIPE THOSE TEARS OFF OUR EYES…



* sorry but this was his last photo and I would like to remember him forever...

REMEMBERING JEREMY

No words can describe
How sad and empty I feel today
Especially when it's your birthday.

Why did you have to go away suddenly
And leave a big hole in my heart
When there was hope for you to exist?

What I'm suffering now seems so unfair
As my love for you has never ended there.

I'll cherish the moments I held you in my arms
with you gracing me always with your lovely charms.

A million words and tears would not change the fact
That you would never ever come back.

I'll brave the bitter grief that comes
No matter how sad I had become

As I know that you're on a safer ground now.
Rest in peace my Jeremy, my son...

I'll held tight the memories of
My love for you forever and ever...

Thanks for the wishes and prayers everyone.
Jeremy is now over the rainbow bridge.
Update: http://crizcats.blogspot.com/2010/12/jeremy-is-critically-ill-and-lost.html

RIPPLES IN MY HEART

I hoped, I prayed and I tried my very best…
But you left with my most fearful enemy
none can avoid… DEATH!
Bringing you into the world with my bare hands
left many smiles and joy in my life…
Your every little moves and actions
made my life more meaningful…
Now what would happen to my faithful
alarm clock when you are no longer here?
Even your twin was not in best performance
ever since you left…
Twin connections… it’s not a myth!
My sea of calm and tranquil water
is now filled with ripples…
Ripples from the endless drops of tears…
and they never seem to be able to stop…
Each drop represents the love I had for you…
It’s for eternity…

R.I.P.P.L.E.S.
Rest In Peace… Pretty Lady… Eternally… Sorrowlessly…

JOEY L.
22 June 2008 – 20 August 2009

A TRIBUTE TO VIOLETTE